


Confectionary Crassness

by Politzania



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Baked goods shenanigans, Domestic Fluff, F/M, POV First Person, Slice of Life, mildly vulgar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:35:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25659064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Politzania/pseuds/Politzania
Summary: Happy brings pastries to Pepper & Tony and a private joke is revealed.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Comments: 9
Kudos: 29
Collections: Tony Stark Flash Bingo





	Confectionary Crassness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [feyrelay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/feyrelay/gifts).



> Title; Confectionary Crassness  
> Card Number: 019  
> Square: 1 - Doughnuts  
> Ship: Tony/Pepper  
> Rating: General  
> Warnings: mildly vulgar  
> Summary: Happy brings pastries to Pepper & Tony and a private joke is revealed.  
> For @tonystarkbingo **

“Hey Jarv, I brought breakfast for the Boss and Boss-lady. Could you let me in?” 

“Certainly, Mister Hogan,” Tony’s AI replied; the front door swung open and I stepped in. “They’re out on the south veranda.” 

I walked through the spacious living area to reach the balcony that extended right out over the oceanside cliff. If I didn’t know that it was Tony who had designed the entire house, I’d definitely be having second thoughts about stepping out on it. 

Pepper was stretched out on a chaise lounge leafing through a magazine with a mimosa on the table next to her. I rapped on the patio door before sliding it to one side and calling out “Room service!” 

Giving me a cheery wave, she replied, “Good morning - and how thoughtful of you! Tony, look!” 

Tony’s attention had been focused on one of his holoscreens, but his face lit up when he glanced over to see the familiar pink boxes. “Are those from where I think they’re from?” 

“Sure are. They asked when you’d be back over to hang out in the sign while wearing your armor. Said it’s great for business.” 

“I’ll see if I can fit a public appearance into my schedule,” Tony chuckled, then gave me a jokingly stern look. “You better have gotten the good kind of doughnuts, not the butthole ones.” 

“ ‘Butthole ones’?” Pepper asked, one perfect eyebrow raised. I wasn’t about to go into what had become a private joke, but Tony didn’t give it a second thought. 

“C’mon Pep, you’ve never looked at a cake doughnut and noticed how the hole in the middle kind of puckers, you, know, like an —“ 

“No, Tony. I have never made that rather disturbing observation,” she interrupted, wrinkling her nose. “And now, thanks to you, I’m never **not** going to be seeing that.” 

“Don’t worry, Pepper,” I spoke up. “I got you a couple of eclairs.” 

“Are they cream filled?” Tony asked, waggling his eyebrows. “She loves to swallow those down.” That earned him a hard slap on the arm from Pepper and honestly, I couldn’t blame her. And seeing that Tony had made our private joke public, I kind of wished I hadn’t gotten the special pastry I’d added to the order.

“What’s that?” Tony asked, making grabby hands at the second, smaller box. Too late now. 

“It’s the bakery’s tribute to one of your teammates.” I opened the lid. “Behold - the Star Spangled Special!” 

It was a vanilla cake donut with white icing and red and blue star-shaped sprinkles. Tony dissolved into delighted giggles, while Pepper couldn’t quite hide a smile.

“They’ve defiled an American icon!” Tony finally gasped out. 

“You two are absolutely terrible.” Pepper complained. But you know, there was a glint in her eye as she added, “It does look delicious, though.”

**Author's Note:**

> I apparently can’t get over FeyRelay’s doughnut story... (see my “A Sticky Situation Turned Sweet” for the entire tale)


End file.
